


what do you mean assassins don't do this?

by dang_itx_zodiac



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Akabane Karma is a Little Shit, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, F/M, Group Chat Fic, I DIDNT KNOW THAT WAS A TAG UNTIL NOW, M/M, and feels like the main character wtf, and hiroto bottoms, but yes karma is karma, everyone is babey, hinano is god, i feel like im the only one that thinks yuma tops, i might add smut but idk, i swear theres a plot, irina and his relationship is kind of just background ngl, karasuma just dipped, korosensei is innocent and wants nothing to do with anything tbh, lots of memes tho, nagisa is one dense motherfucker, no proofreading cause this is a CHATFIC, offensive memes?? idk??, ok you have permission to kill me just please make it quick, rinka literally murders everyone in cold blood what a queen, so thats not gonna be in here, so. many. memes., teacher crushes bc idk why they added it in the anime but its funny to make fun of!!, terasaka abuse everyone hates and loves him, terasaka group tm, they still have to kill korosensei but im stupid and idk how to plan murders, theyre all crackheads, yuma cant feelings well :((
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2019-10-07 04:06:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17358620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dang_itx_zodiac/pseuds/dang_itx_zodiac
Summary: sure, the assassination classroom is filled with skilled assassins ready for murder at any second, but, c'mon. they're still teenagers. they still have a duty to press "F" when their friend is murdered.too many memes for karasuma's taste, honestly.





	1. Karasuma, you idiot

_**Tadaomi Karasuma** has created a chat_

_**Tadaomi Karasuma** has added **Nagisa Shiota** , **Kaede Kayano** , **Yuma Isogai** , + **22**  others_

 

**Tadaomi Karasuma** : Good morning, Class 3-E.

**Tadaomi Karasuma** : I have decided that, as an easier way to communicate, you all are to use this group chat to assassinate the target. By that I mean discussing plans, weapons, times, locations, specifically.

**Rio Nakamura** : grave mistake

**Megu Kataoka** : just for assassination?

**Tadaomi Karasuma** : That is the reason for this chat.

**Hinano Kurahashi** : but mr karasuma, wouldnt it also be great if we bonded more?? we could use this chat to become better friends!! we need to have great cooperation skills for a great assassination!!

**Tadaomi Karasuma** : I suppose that does make sense...

**Tadaomi Karasuma** : Very well, you can also use this chat for some form of entertainment. Though, do not forget your main goal: to kill Korosensei.

**Hinano Kurahashi** : understood!!

**Hinano Kurahashi** :

**Hinano Kurahashi** :

**Hinano Kurahashi** :

**Hinano Kurahashi** :

**Hinano Kurahashi** : i think he left

**Hiroto Maehara** : kurahashi you manipulative bitch

**Hiroto Maehara** : i love you

**Hinano Kurahashi** : i love me too :DD

**Megu Kataoka** : fucking annihilated 

**Yuzuki Fuwa** : oh no a group chat

**Yuzuki Fuwa** : ive read too many fanfictions and seen too many cliche animes to know where this is going to go

**Nagisa Shiota** : uh, should we try to do what mr. karasuma actually advised us to..?

**Nagisa Shiota** : yknow, come up with an assassination plan?

**Rio Nakamura** : buzzkill

**Nagisa Shiota** : ah, sorry!

 

_**Korosensei** has added **Korosensei**_

 

**Rinka Hayami** : what

**Koki Mimura** : how??

**Kaede Kayano** : speak of the devil!!

**Takuya Muramatsu** : well now we cant discuss anything

**Korosensei** : No, no, please continue!

**Sosuke Sugaya** : NOT WITH YOU HERE!!!!!!

**Sosuke Sugaya** : SOMEONE BAN HIM

**Korosensei** : WAIT- BUT I WANNA BE INCLUDED!!!

**Koresensei** : PLEASE LET ME BE PART OF THIS GROUP CHAT!!!!

**Nagisa Shiota** : tends to panic when feeling discluded...

**Takuya Muramatsu** : NO

**Korosensei** : If you don't let me stay, I will have to delete this group chat!

**Hiroto Maehara** : but you cant do that, youre not an admin

**Korosensei** : How do you think I added myself?

**Rinka Hayami** : but didnt **@Tadaomi Karasuma** create this group chat?

**Tadaomi** **Karasuma** : Why did I receive a notification for this chat, I know I muted it.

**Tadaomi** **Karasuma** : Oh.

 

_**Tadaomi** **Karasuma** has kicked **Korosensei**_

 

**Hinano** **Kurahashi** : our savior!!

 

_**Koresensei** has added **Korosensei**_

 

**Hiroto** **Maehara** : hOW

 

_**Tadaomi Karasuma** has kicked **Korosensei**_

 

_**Korosensei** has added **Korosensei**_

 

_**Tadaomi Karasuma** has kicked **Korosensei**_

 

_**Korosensei** has added **Korosensei**_

 

_**Tadaomi Karasuma** has banned **Korosensei**_

 

_**Korosensei** has unbanned **Korosensei**_

 

**Tadaomi Karasuma** : **@everyone** explain

**Taisei Yoshida** : eh?!?!?! i dont know!!!

**Manami Okuda** : there has to be some explanation!! D:

**Korosensei** : Nurufufu! Why don't you just ask me?

**Hinata Okuda** : i

**Hinata Okuda** : did you just

**Hinata Okuda** : write out your laugh

**Hinata Okuka** : you could have just done "hahaha" like any normal person??

**Korosensei** : But I like my laugh!!

**Nagisa Shiota** : i think he gets embarrassed easy...

**Korosensei** : BUT STOP BANNING ME, KARASUMA!!!!

**Korosensei** : It hurts my feelings...

**Tadaomi Karasuma** : This is no "feelings" matter!

**Korosensei** : However, as I was saying before I was rudely interupted...

**Korosensei** : If you all kick/ban me one more time, I will have to shut down this chat!

**Megu Kataoka** : why? it isnt doing any harm to anyone

**Korosensei** : Yes, it is!!

**Korosensei** : Class started 15 minutes ago, and half of my class are glued to their phones!!

**Nagisa Shiota** : oh

**Nagisa Shiota** : hes not wrong

**Rio Nakamura** : whoops, our bad 

**Korosensei** : I will allow this chat to continue

**Korosensei** : IF you all promise to not use it during class!

**Hinano Kurahashi** : we promise!!

**Yukiko Kanzaki** : sorry korosensei uwu

**Manami** **Okuda** : sorry!!!

**Hiroto Maehara** : wont happen again

**Megu Kataoka** : our bad

**Hinata Okano** : we all promise to not do it again!

**Sosuke Sugaya** : yeesh, sorry

**Koki Mimura** : i apologize!!

**Nagisa Shiota** : ah, sorry!

**Rinka Hayami** : says the one who was also on their phone for 15 minutes

**Korosensei** : You all make me so proud! I think my eyes are watering...

**Korosensei** : WAIT

**Hinano Kurahashi** : oh, she has a point!

**Hinata Okano** : shes right!

**Hiroto Maehara** : that doesnt seem fair, huh, korosensei??

**Sosuke Sugaya** : double standards if ive ever seem them...

**Korosensei** : WAIT!!!!!!!

**Korosensei** : THIS IS NOT HOW THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO END!!!!!!!

**Megu Kataoka** : thats pretty unfair, korosensei. i think i lost my faith in you...

**Hinata Okano** : me too :/

**Sosuke Sugaya** : i think i speak for us all when we say were pretty disappointed...

**Hiroto Maehara** : yep

**Korosensei** : NONONONONO!!!!!

**Korosensei** : I SWEAR I HAVE A GOOD EXPLANATION!!!

**Megu Kataoka** : which is?

**Korosensei** :

**Korosensei** :

**Korosensei** :

**Korosensei** :

**Sosuke Sugaya** : DOUBLE STANDARDS!!!!

**Korosensei** : NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

**Ryoma Terasaka** : you all are fucking idiots...

**Rio Nakamura** : y'all*

**Ryoma Terasaka** : i regret having little faith in you

**Rio Nakamura** : wow, thats so sad, alexa play fucking despacito for this baby

**Ryoma Terasaka** : whore

**Rio Nakamura** : bitch

**Korosensei** : DONT IGNORE ME!!!!

**Korosensei** : AND NO CURSING!!!!!

**HInano Kurahashi** : hey korosensei!!

**Hinano Kurahashi** : lets make a deal!!

**Hinano Kurahashi** : we wont curse during class, but we will all other times!!

**Hinano Kurahashi** : deal?

**Korosensei** : Deal.

**Hinano Kurahashi** : no taksies-backsies?

**Korosensei** : None here!

**Rinka Hayami** : wait were not allowed to use our phones during class

**Hinano Kurahashi** : exactly

**Hinano Kurahashi** : B)

**Korosensei** : YOU TRICKED ME!!! >:'0

**Rinka Hayami** : F

**Hiroto Maehara** : F

**Koki Mimura** : F

**Rio Nakamura** : F

**Yukiko Kanzaki** : F

**Megu Kataoka** : F

**Hinata Okano** : F

**Nagisa Shiota** : F

**Ryoma Terasaka** : F for fuck korosensei

**Hinata Okano** : dear god please dont

**Ryoma Terasaka** : YOU KNOW I DIDNT MEAN THAT

**Taiga Okajima** : IS SOMEONE TALKING ABOUT PORN?!?!??!

**Taiga Okajima** : oh

**Taiga Okajima** : dude ew

**Ryoma Terasaka** : STOP BEING STUPID THERES NO WAY YOURE THIS DENSE

**Korosensei** : I'm flattered, Terasaka-kun, but I am your sensei! That behavior is unacceptable!

**Ryoma Terasaka** : im gonna ctrl alt delete myself

**Rio Nakamura** : sounds festive

**Rio Nakamura** : i await that moment with open arms

**Ryoma Nakamura** : fuck you

**Rio Nakamura** : sorry im a lesb

**Nagisa Shiota** : guys half our class is so concerned i think we should finally start todays lesson??

**Megu Kataoka** : wow you sound like our teacher more than our ACTUAL teacher u_u

**Nagisa Shiota** : ehehe, i dont think i could ever be a teacher...

**Korosensei** : MEAN!!

**Korosensei** : ILL PROVE YOU WRONG!! 3:<

**Megu Kataoka** : please never use that face again

 

"EVERYONE PUT YOUR PHONES DOWN!" A voice shouts into the surprisingly quiet classroom, it much sounding like their yellow teacher. Everyone jumps with small yelps echoing. many people stuffing their phones into their backpack as the rest stare at everyone with concerned expressions. Finally, the long awaited lesson begins.


	2. hinano is god

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is this plot and a valid timeline i smell?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think karma will be added next chapter bc lets be honest all of you are only reading this bc of him (dont worry im also writing this just for him)

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Yuma Isogai** to **i so gay**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Ryoma Terasaka** to **tera-suck ass**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Hinata Okano** to **leg-andary**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Rio Nakamura** to **a lesb**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Nagisa Shiota** to  **america explain how someone can have two genders**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Toka Yada** to **my boo**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Kaede Kayano** to **green is not a creative color**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Yuzuki Fuwa** to **an average fuji**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Sumire Hara** to **gordon ramsay**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Hiroto Maehara** to **a hoe**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Sosuke Sugaya** to **i like to stick paintbrushes up my ass**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Megu Kataoka** to **feminism isnt a phase MOM**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Masayoshi Kimura** to **bottom**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Tomohito Sugino** to **baseball bish**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Manami Okuda** to **science n shit i guess**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Taiga Okajima** to **ew**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Yukiko Kanzaki** to **420/69**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Rinka Hayami** to **fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Kotaro Takebayashi** to **"lose one D"**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Kirara Hazama** to **a gorgeous satan**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Takuya Muramatsu** to **hhhh**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Koki Mimura** to **ur doing great sweetie**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Taisei Yoshida** to **feed me wrenches daddy**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Ryunosuke Chiba** to **eyes? never heard of her**_

_**Hinano Kurahashi** has changed **Hinano Kurahashi** to **im here im queer suck my clit**_

_**im here im queer suck my clit**  has changed **Korosensei** to **tentacle porn**_

_**im here im queer suck my clit**  has changed **Tadaomi Karasuma** to **yum**_

 

 

 **bottom** : KOWALSKI, ANALYSIS

 **a lesb** : no fair why do you get to choose all our usernames :"/

 **a lesb** : im not complaining bout mine but

 **hhhh** : WHY IS MINE SO HALF-ASSED???

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : cause your personality is so half-assed :3

 **a hoe** : oh god her brothers are getting to her head

 **a hoe** : wait WHAT

 **a hoe** : I THOUGHT WE HAD A BOND YOU TRAITOR

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : *soft chuckle*

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : y o u   w e r e   w r o n g

 **a hoe** : understandable have a nice day

 **ur doing great sweetie** : i dont get mine????

 **feminism isnt a phase MOM** : shhh we love you now shut up before you ruin it

 **feminism isnt a phase MOM** : and i hate my name but im too scared to complain about it

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : IM NOT

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : WTF IS MINE????

 **tera-suck ass** : WHAT THE FUCK KURAHASHI YOURE SHIT AT CHOOSING USERNAMES

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : okay now youre all being bullies ;"(

 **my boo** : i like mine <3

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : <3

 **i like to stick paintbrushes up my ass** : WE GET IT

 **i like to stick paintbrushes up my ass** : YALL GAY AS FUCK

 **a hoe** : petition to change yadas username

 **leg-andary** : for once i agree

 **leg-andary** : her name is cute

 **leg-andary** : /but this is not a place for cute/

 **my boo** : D:

 **a hoe** : look an intellectual 

 **leg-andary** : your name is accurate tho ngl

 **a hoe** : okay fuck you

 

 

_[ Private Messages between **the kool kid** and **class pres** ]_

 

 

 **the kool kid** : help

 **the kool kid** : was that too forward

 **the kool kid** : did i sound mean

 **the kool kid** : or worse

 **the kool kid** : was it too OBVIOUS????

 **the kool kid** : does she hate me????

 **the kool kid** : ISOGAI ANSWER YOU CUNT

 **class pres** : calm down maehara u_u

 **class pres** : im working at my job right now >:(

 **class pres** : but panicking wont help :/

 **class pres** : youre cool i bet she took it as a joke :D

 **class pres** : thats always how she takes it ^^

 **class pres** : this is probably the billionth time youve said that to her :P

 **the kool kid** : 1 stop trying to use emoticons its not making you look cool

 **class pres** : :(

 **the kool kid** : 2 hhhhhh okay

 **the kool kid** : and im sorry about spamming you while youre working

 **class pres** : its cool dude :D

 **class pres** : shes just another human yknow :0

 **class pres** : you dont have to be this tense when talking to her XD

 **the kool kid** : sTop omFG

 **the kool kid** : and idk bro

 **the kool kid** : shes just

 **the kool kid** : super perfect and i

 **the kool kid** : dont know how to act around her???

 **the kool kid** : i know ive slept with tons of other girls before

 

 

Yuma softly sighed when he read those words. His grip on his phone tightened, not strong enough to break, however; there was no way his family would be able to afford a new one. He felt his mind argue with itself.

 _You read it yourself, Isogai. He slept with girls. He_ still _sleeps with girls. He doesn't like guys._

"I don't know that for sure, though..." he softly whispers to himself. He was on his break, him currently locked in the bathrooms.

 _You do. You know he's never shown interest in guys because you also know his entire dating history_ _. You've waited for him to show some form of interest in you or guys in general, but in reality, you know you don't stand a_ chance _with him. He's straight, dipshit. Give it up. Stop being so fucking hopeless and move on. Stop being weak. Don't you have to take care of your mom? Look at how useless you're being. Pathetic is the only thing to describe you as._

"No..." he gently exhales, feeling tears well up in his eyes. He shakes his head and lightly bites his tongue to focus on something else in the moment; he didn't care that it had to be pain. He'd rather his tongue bleed and his mouth drown in the taste than continue to feel his chest close and his throat tighten. His eyes retreated back to his illuminated screen when he feels it continue to vibrate in his palm.

 

 

 **the kool kid** : but that was like a quick fuck and leave

 **the kool kid** : it was only about looks

 **the kool kid** : and okano feels...

 **the kool kid** : so much more different than them

 **the kool kid** : its kind of refreshing????

 **the kool kid** : i dont even know why i feel this why

 **the kool kid** : or why her specifically

 **class pres** : i cant say i know what you mean, because i havent lived the same life as you

 **class pres** : but i do understand

 **class pres** : just be yourself!

 **class pres** : what youre saying is that you love okanos personality, right?

 **class pres** : and you want her to feel the same?

 **class pres** : then the best solution is to be yourself!

 **the kool kid** : youre right youre right fuck im sorry

 **class pres** : hey its all cool dude

 **class pres** : no need to apologize! :D

 **the kool kid** : yep, youre right again

 **the kool kid** : ha youre always right

 **the kool kid** : thanks bro

 **class pres** : anytime :)

 

 

Yuma felt his feelings mix and his stomach began to churn, causing him to drop his phone, slide to the ground and hug his knees. He buried his face into his elbows. Only sobbing was heard from him.

He felt a shiver run up his spine.

_You know he will never reciprocate your feelings._

 

 

_[ Group Chat between **27** people ]_

 

 

 **leg-andary** : adsjhdsafhs aLL jokes AsIde

 **leg-andary** : important business is to tend to

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : leave her aLONE

 **ew** : i have a suggestion ;)

 **feminism isnt a phase MOM** : fuck off no one likes you

 **an average fuji** : yknow, your ";)" doesnt really help

 **an average fuji** : and HEY

 **an average fuji** : I READ MANGA AND WATCH ANIME

 **an average fuji** : THAT DOESNT MAKE ME A FUJI

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : weird then how do you know what it means?

 **an average fuji** : no u

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : touche

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : waIT i have an idea

 **leg-andary** : shoot

 

 

 **_feed me wrenches daddy_ ** _has changed_ **_my boo_ ** _to_ **_yo yada yada_ **

 

 

 **a lesb** : stupid and not funny

 **a lesb** : not even in the slightest bit clever

 **a lesb** : i love it

 **yo yada yada** : honestly i expected worse

 **yo yada yada** : ill take it

 **yo yada yada** : i still hate it

 **yo yada yada** : but its tolerable

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : i cant tell if i should be offended or appreciative

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : so ill go with

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : thank you??????

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : is that a reference to the show "yo g*bba g*bba"?

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : and im a guy!!!

 **a lesb** : whatever helps you sleep at night honey

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : yes

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : and why the fuck did you censor it

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : its americ*n

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : ah

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : how dAr E you interfere with my wor k

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : i am a GOD

 **green is not a creative color** : dont you mean a "goddess"?

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : *inhale*

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : d i d   i   f u c k i n g   s t u t t e r

 **a hoe** : your brothers are getting to your head

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : it would explain the overload of memes and vine references and how im a lesbian yes

 **yo yada yada** : i still love youuuu <33

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : i love you moreeee <33

 **tera-suck ass** : *distant gagging*

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : ah the straight one has arrived

 **a lesb** : yo im lesbian too but even ill admit that that was pretty gay bro

 **yo yada yada** : thats the POINT

 **ur doing great sweetie** : wait if anyone can change their username why is everyone complaining?

 **hhhh** : because were attention whores mimura leave us aLONE

 **a hoe** : even im an attention whore but muramatsu your username is just shit

 **a hoe** : now youre just being lazy

 **hhhh** : bitch

 **hhhh** : im just also uncreative ;"(

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : squad?

 **hhhh** : squad.

 **yum** : This is my SECOND time being notified about this app about me being mentioned even though I had muted this.

 **yum** : Why is that?

 **yum** : ...

 **yum** : Explain. Five seconds. Now.

 **tentacle porn** : Nurufufu! Mr. Karasuma, can't you take a simple joke?

 **tentacle porn** : wait

 **tentacle porn** : WAIT

 **tentacle porn** : AAAAAAAAHH! WHY ME? I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR FAVORITE TEACHER!

 **a hoe** : nothing personal, kid

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : *teleports behind you*

 **tentacle porn** : Not just mine!! What is with everyone's username being so vulgar?? <:"0

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : its after school so

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : its TECHNICALLY following the rules, korosensei! some have curse words but thats allowed!

 **tentacle porn** : I'll admit, you're all right...

 **tentacle porn** : BUT I STILL DEMAND THAT MY NAME IS CHANGED!!!

 **yum** : I have to agree with my own.

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : no one explain

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : i mean, it really isnt a demand we have to follow, is it? there're no rules against changing your guys' usernames...

 **feminism isnt a phase MOM** : yeah, so were in the clear

 **tentacle porn** : I'm so confused on who is who! D":

 **ew** : yeah me too!

 **tentacle porn** : Okay, I know that is Okajima-kun.

 **ew** : hey!!

 **tentacle porn** : Anyways!! I only came online to give you all some news!!

 **yo yada yada** : owo whats this?

 **a lesb** : "Top 10 Quotes before Disaster"

 **yum** : Indeed, we are here to inform class 3-E that we will be having a student join us tomorrow.

 **feminism isnt a phase MOM** : transfer?

 **tentacle porn** : Not so much! Them going to class 3-E was expected to be in the beginning of the semester, but because of their suspension, their arrival was pushed to later.

 **im here im queer suck my cli** t: awwww not even a hint to whether its a he or a she? :(((

 **tentacle porn** : Sorry, it's just courtesy!

 **leg-andary** : will they also be helping in your assassination? :0

 **tentacle porn** : Of course!

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : well, i for one am looking forward to meeting them! :)

 **yum** : So...

 **yum** : Is no one going to explain my username?

 **a hoe** : nope

 **science n shit i guess** : honestly, i dont even know what it means, mr. karasuma!! D:

 **yum** : fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wO w background/underrated characters finally getting spotlight? no one cares wheres kARMA-
> 
> god im so pumped to add him
> 
> anyways heres the current nicknames list:
> 
> Yuma Isogai ~ i so gay  
> Ryoma Terasaka ~ tera-suck ass  
> Hinata Okano ~ leg-andary  
> Rio Nakamura ~ a lesb  
> Nagisa Shiota ~ america explain how someone can have two genders  
> Toka Yada ~ yo yada yada  
> Kaede Kayano ~ green is not a creative color  
> Yuzuki Fuwa ~ an average fuji  
> Sumire Hara ~ gordon ramsay  
> Hiroto Maehara ~ a hoe  
> Sosuke Sugaya ~ i like to stick paintbrushes up my ass  
> Megu Kataoka ~ feminism isnt a phase MOM  
> Masayoshi Kimura ~ bottom  
> Tomohito Sugino ~ baseball bish  
> Manami Okuda ~ science n shit i guess  
> Taiga Okajima ~ ew  
> Yukiko Kanzaki ~ 420/69  
> Rinka Hayami ~ fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops  
> Kotaro Takebayashi ~ "lose one D"  
> Kirara Hazama ~ a gorgeous satan  
> Takuya Muramatsu ~ hhhh  
> Koki Mimura ~ ur doing great sweetie  
> Taisei Yoshida ~ feed me wrenches daddy  
> Ryunosuke Chiba ~ eyes? never heard of her  
> Hinano Kurahashi ~ im here im queer suck my clit  
> Korosensei ~ tentacle porn  
> Tadaomi Karasuma ~ yum
> 
> also, for the yuma and hiroto bit, they had different usernames because you can have different usernames for each chat!


	3. karmas a bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> too many fourth wall breaks
> 
> terasaka abuse continues (hes my best friends favorite character, which makes this all the more funny as fuck)

_**america explain how someone can have two genders** has added **Karma Akabane**_

 

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : welcome to the e class, karma!

 **Karma Akabane** : please tell me youre nagisa

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : uh, yeah?

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : oh!! sorry, i forgot that everyone's names were changed!!

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : wait- howd you know it was me?

 **Karma Akabane** : theres only one trap in this class

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : a what?

 **Karma Akabane** : id obviously know who my best friend is by instinct!

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : oh, okay!! do you want me to tell you who everyone else is??

 **Karma Akabane:** nah, i think i can tell

 **tera-suck ass** : impossible

 **Karma Akabane** : whatever you say terasaka

 **tera-suck ass** : MINES FUCKING OBVIOUS SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SMUG ASS BITCH YOUVE ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK AND I ALREADY HATE YOU

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : sorry we didnt add you sooner!!

 **Karma Akabane** : so you admit to being a suck ass? or do you admit to sucking ass?

 **Karma Akabane** : thats gay

 **a lesb** : says you

 **Karma Akabane** : its not gay if we chop it off :)

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : chop what off??

 **Karma Akabane** : nothing, you adorable little itty bitty mouse

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : uh, okay??

 **a lesb** : thanks for proving my point further

 

_**im here im queer suck my clit** has changed **Karma Akabane** to **miss me with that hetero shit**_

 

 **miss me with that hetero shit** : touche

 **tera-suck ass** : its sad being the only hetero here

 **an average fuji** : just wait a few more chapters

 **tera-suck ass** : what the actual fuck does that mean

 **fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : stop being so self-absorbed you fucking dumbass maybe if you considered actually noticing other people, other than your multiple personalities, youd realize that oh shit you ARENT the only fucking hetero here

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : OH FUCK

 **a lesb** : AKOJFIAHFAJKFHWAIGHAKJFAKFAJSFCIEQOIGNCXAKJ

 **"lose one D"** : keyboard smashes are gay

 **i like to stick paintbrushes up my ass** : OH MY FUCKING GOD SOMEONE PLEASE GET ICE FOR THIS POOR MAN

 **leg-andary** : i cant believe terasakas fucking dead

 **a hoe** : YES HELLO 911 I JUST WITNESSED A MURDER

 **yo** **yada yada** : see this is why im a lesbian

 **a gorgeous satan** : finally someone said it

 **420/69** : oh!!!

 **basaball bish** : oh!!!

 **hhhh** : SFAJKALFJAIOELAJFK

 **hhhh** : NO THAT DID NOT JUST FUJAKCING HAPPEN OH YN FUJCING GODODDD

 **ew** : DUDE DUDDE WHHAT BY A GIRL TOO BRO

 **gordon ramsay** : im shaking and crying oh maN

 **tera-suck ass** : IM DELETING THIS FUCKING CHAT

 **a lesb** : im honestly surprised karma ignored this hes like the biggest terasaka hater here

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : no, hes laughing a lot, that's why he hasnt typed yet! dont worry!

 **yo yada yada** : and how do you know this?

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : were in the same room!

 **green is not a creative color** : then why are you two texting instead of talking?

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : well,ksjaflkjfsasklhgkdjfhgluadhfk jkdvan

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : dont tell me what i can and cant do with my life bitch

 **hhhh** : O U C H

 **green is not a creative color** : nagisa?!??!?

 **miss me with that hetero shit** : sorry, that was karma!!! im nagisa!!! he stole my phone when i was in the middle of typing!!!

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : im nagisa shiota and im itty bitty boy who secretly wants to be pounded in the ass by a big dicked muscle man <333 :DDD i fantasize about it alllllll day mmmmmmMMMM AHHHHHHH

 **green is not a creative color** : KARMA OH MY GOD NO

 **a lesb** : WHAT THE UFCKK

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : MY EYES BURN

 **feminism isnt a phase MOM** : PLEASE RETURN NAGISAS PHONE IMMEDIATELY

 **hhhh** : I CANTNT BREATHEA INM ,LAUGHINGG TOO HEARADD

 **miss me with that hetero shit** : hey!!!!!!!!!!!! DD:

 **miss me with that hetero shit** : well, im karma akabane, and im perfect!!! >:(((

 **a lesb** : nagisa

 **a lesb** : sweetie

 **a lesb** : n o

 **green is not a creative color** : he tried??

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : cute

 **gordon ramsay** : am i the only one still crying over rinka?????

 **ew** : its always the quiet ones

 **eyes? never heard of her** : oh, by the way, rinka

 **eyes? never heard of her** : good job

 **fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : thanks :)

 **eyes? never heard of her** : youre welcome :)

 **fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : it was pretty easy to, in all honesty. all i had to do was describe terasakas personality.

 **tera-suck ass** : SHUT UP BITCH

 **fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : *inhales*

 **fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : i know you are but what am i

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : RINKA PLEASE HES ALREADY FUCKIBG DEAD

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : IM SORRY TERASAKA WHO HIS FUNERAL WAS TWO SECONDS AGO

 **hhhh** : DUDE ILL BE ATTENDING LAUGHING MY ASS OFF BECAYSE THIS IS FUCKING GOLD

 **tera-suck ass** : SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU TWO

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : sorry god

 **hhhh** : okay daddy

 **420/69** : cowards

 **baseball bish** : cowards

 **a lesb** : stop copying her omfg

 **420/69** : i dont mind!!!

 **baseball bish** : im crying angels do exist

 **miss me with that hetero shit** : oh my god guys he speaks!!!! for himself, finally

 **miss me with that hetero shit** : does that mean he actually has a personality rather than creepily following yukiko?

 **miss me with that hetero shit** : s h o c k i n g

 **a lesb** : i think its safe to say that they switched phones back

 **a lesb** : cant be too sure tho, theres no strong evidence to back my claim up

 **baseball bish** : FI T E M E

 **miss me with that hetero shit** : and he spells "fight" as "fite"

 **miss me with that hetero shit** : sad

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : karma... :(

 **miss me with that hetero shit** : i understand; tomohito please accept my sincerest apologies, i said some words that are deeply regretted, and i fret that they may have hurt you emotionally. i hope that you forgive me for my distasteful acts, and i wish to learn from this moment and grow from it as a person. i hope that you do find, from the kindest corner of your kindest heart, to join me in moving forward from this act, as mature people who promise to get along well after this has settled. again, so so sorry.

 **a lesb** : what

 **hhhh** : WHAT

 **gordon ramsay** : this is legit scaring me

 **tera-suck ass** : THIS GUY HAS DONE SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE TO ME AND I HAVE NEVER ONCE IN THE WEEK THAT IVE KNOWN HIM HEARD HIM SAY SORRY

 **ur doing great sweetie** : h-how???????

 **bottom** : im. shaking

 **a hoe** : im literally speechless, and this is coming from the guy who never shuts the fuck up

 **leg-andary** : oh please dear lord in the sky explain how this is to be

 **green is not a creative color** : nagisa please tell us your ways

 **bottom** : waIT NAGISA DID IT

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : obviously dumbass

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : thank you, karma!! :D

 **miss me with that hetero shit** : your day ever get 10000000000x times better cause of a text cause mine sure does

 **a lesb** : guys were all here too please dont ignore us

 **tera-suck ass** : too much gay

 **im here im queer suck my clit** : g o o d

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : eheh, sorry?

 **hhhh** : why is that a question

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : :)

 **hhhh** : WAIT WHAT

 **hhhh** : HWY IS THAT A QUEST ION IM-

 **america explain how someone can have two genders** : but to actually answer your question, i dont know, i guess? karma and i have been friends since middle school, if thats any explanation!

 **an average fuji** : is this a gay backstory i smell

 **miss me with that hetero shit** : no, because im straight

 **tera-suck ass** : FAJKLFJSAFAKJFGJLFJA GOOD JOKE

 **"lose one D"** : keyboard smashes are gAY

 **420/69** : ^^^^^^^

 **baseball bish** : ^^^^^^^

 **science n shit i guess** : ^^^^^^^

 **green is not a creative color** : ^^^^^^^^

 **tera-suck ass** : stop terasaka abuse 2k whatever this year is

 **a lesb** : you dont know what year were in?

 **an average fuji** : no, he does, the author just doesnt

 **yo yada yada** : what

 **hhhh** : did someone say something

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : all i heard was TERASAKA ABUSE

 **a gorgeous satan** : can confirm that this information is correct

 **tera-suck ass** : i wont hesitate

 **hhhh** : yes papa

 **a gorgeous satan** : of course

 **feed me wrenches daddy** : alright

 **420/69** : is this the power of terasaka squad

 **an avaerage fuji** : NNO THIS ISNT ALL OF THEM JUST WAIT A FEW MORE CHAPTERS JESUS FUCK HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THIS

 **gordon ramsay** : sobbing bye

 **gordon ramsay** : wh a t do you mea n

 **an average fuji** : dontworryaboutit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *several people are typing*
> 
> abrupt endings intensify
> 
> i tried to include everyone, please forgive me if i forgot someone or didnt give someone enough lines!! im still trying not to be /too/ ooc, because i am already a bit :")
> 
> Yuma Isogai ~ i so gay  
> Ryoma Terasaka ~ tera-suck ass  
> Hinata Okano ~ leg-andary  
> Rio Nakamura ~ a lesb  
> Nagisa Shiota ~ america explain how someone can have two genders  
> Toka Yada ~ yo yada yada  
> Kaede Kayano ~ green is not a creative color  
> Yuzuki Fuwa ~ an average fuji  
> Sumire Hara ~ gordon ramsay  
> Hiroto Maehara ~ a hoe  
> Sosuke Sugaya ~ i like to stick paintbrushes up my ass  
> Megu Kataoka ~ feminism isnt a phase MOM  
> Masayoshi Kimura ~ bottom  
> Tomohito Sugino ~ baseball bish  
> Manami Okuda ~ science n shit i guess  
> Taiga Okajima ~ ew  
> Yukiko Kanzaki ~ 420/69  
> Rinka Hayami ~ fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops  
> Kotaro Takebayashi ~ "lose one D"  
> Kirara Hazama ~ a gorgeous satan  
> Takuya Muramatsu ~ hhhh  
> Koki Mimura ~ ur doing great sweetie  
> Taisei Yoshida ~ feed me wrenches daddy  
> Ryunosuke Chiba ~ eyes? never heard of her  
> Hinano Kurahashi ~ im here im queer suck my clit  
> Korosensei ~ tentacle porn  
> Tadaomi Karasuma ~ yum  
> Karma Akabane ~ miss me with that hetero shit


	4. the uwu apocalypse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the revolution against hinano has BEGUN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone asked if i could change the usernames to have the original names next to them, but i thought changing the format would be too sudden, so i hope this helps a little!

**_leg_ _-andary_ ** _changed their name to **Hinata Owokanowo**_

 

**im here im queer suck my clit** : what is this

 

_**a hoe** changed their name to **Hirowotowo** **Maewehara**_

 

**im here im queer suck my clit** : god is confused

**bottom** : who the hell is god

**im here im queer suck my clit** : me bitch

 

**_gordon ramsay_ ** _changed their name to_ **_Suwumirewe Hara_ **

 

**im here im queer suck my clit** : STOP

 

_**an average** **fuji** _ _has changed their name to **Yuwuzuwuki Fuwuwa**_

 

_**green is not a creative color** has changed their name to **Kaewedewe Kayanowo**_

 

_**i like to stick paintbrushes up my ass** has changed their name to **Sowosuwukewe Suwugaya**_

 

_**baseball bish** has changed their name to **Towomowohitowo Suwuginowo**_

 

**im here im queer suck my clit** : IM SOBBING PLE A S E

 

_**ew** has changed their name to **Taiga** **Owokajima**_

 

**im here im queer suck my clit** : ok but like i could care less about you

**Taiga Owokajima** : :(

**Taiga Owokajima** : but honestly?

**Taiga Owokajima** : fair

 

_**bottom** has changed their name to **Masayowoshi Kimuwura**_

 

_**ur doing great sweetie**  has changed their name to **Kowoki Mimuwura**_

**im here im queer suck my clit** : but ur actually adorable so im fine with you

**Hirowotowo Maewehara** : no fair why does he get a pass

**im here im queer suck my clit** : bc hes amazing?????? and he deserves everything??????? hes literally the embodiment of "uwu" wht do you mea n

**Kowoki Mimuwura** : :D

**im here im queer suck my clit** : jfsalkh i lov e you,,

**yo yada yada** : :(

**im here im queer suck my clit** : no

**im here im queer suck my clit** : babe

**im here im queer suck my clit** : i like like you

**im here im queer suck my clit** : i love him

**yo yada yada** : ohhhh okay!!

**Suwumirewe Hara** : please teach me this language

**Suwumirewe Hara** : i only have unconditional love to repay you

**tera-suck ass** : ???????

**tera-suck ass** : do yall have like three collective braincells or????

**a lesb** : aw he said yall i feel like a proud lesbian mama

**Towomowohitowo Suwuginowo** : yes and rinka already had dibs on them

**fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : ha fuck you

**yo yada yada** : bc you like like me so much im legally allowed to do this

 

_**yo yada yada** has changed their name to **Towoka Yada**_

 

**im here im queer suck my clit** : i feel

**im here im queer suck my clit** : hurt???

**im here im queer suck my clit** : guys im officially single and ready to mingle ;))

**Towoka Yada** : w a i t b a b e p l e a s e

**im here im queer suck my clit** : im sorry who

**im here im queer suck my clit** : i dont have any babe

**a lesb** : guys im crying

**Hirowotowo Maewehara** : i need a tissue

**fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : this is better than any drama tv show

**Towoka Yada** : i c a n f i x t h i s 

**Towoka Yada** : wait a hot second

**Taiga Owokajima** : im a hot second

**Towoka Yada** : SHUT UP

 

_**Towoka Yada** has changed their name to **Towoka Yada Yada**_

 

**a lesb** : audible gasp

**Kowoki Mimuwura** : has she saved her relationship??

**Hirowotowo Maewehara** : find out in the next episode of assclass

**Yuwuzuwuki Fuwuwa** : H E Y

**Yuwuzuwuki Fuwuwa** : N O

**Yuwuzuwuki Fuwuwa** : IM THE ONE THAT BREAKS THE FOURTH WALL

**Yuwuzuwuki Fuwuwa** : FIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN ROLE MOTHERFUCKER

**Hirowotowo Maewehara** : damn ok

**Hirowotowo Maewehara** : this dramatic relationship drama aint the only reason why im crying

**im here im queer suck my clit** : i feel

**im here im queer suck my clit** : cured

**im here im queer suck my clit** : of my 2 minute depression

**Towoka Yada Yada** : chu~

**im here im queer suck my clit** : I JUST DIED OF A HEART ATTACK

**im here im queer suck my clit** : NO IM ACTUALLY DYING PLEASE HELP

**eyes? never heard of her** : can i just

 

_**eyes? never heard of her** has changed their name to **Ryuwunowosuwukewe Chiba**_

 

**Ryuwunowosuwukewe Chiba** : hope i didnt interrupt the 

**Ryuwunowosuwukewe Chiba** : ,,,,,,,,,,,

**Ryuwunowosuwukewe Chiba** : th i n g

**fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : no its ok i love you

**im here im queer suck my clit** : like

**im here im queer suck my clit** : love

**Towomowohitowo Suwuginowo** : or the forbidden "like like"

**miss me with that hetero shit** : they've been smoochin each other are yall stupid

**Ryuwunowosuwukewe Chiba** : yeah were actually dating

**Towoka Yada Yada** : WHAT

**Kaewedewe Kayanowo** : wait yall didnt know

**Hirowotowo Maewehara** : NO WERE DUMBASSES

**Hirowotowo Maewehara** : OF COURSE WE DIDNT

**fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : also i top

**Hirowotowo Maewehara** : ok we been knew that

**im here im queer suck my clit** : was it because we were being too gay

**fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : basically

**im here im queer suck my clit** : ah

**a lesb** : oh congratulations mr and mrs yallson

**tera-suck ass** : im going to pretend i didnt read that or else id have to bleach my eyes

**miss me with that hetero shit** : what the fuck is stopping you

**miss me with that hetero shit** : deadass what the FUCK is stopping you

**miss me with that hetero shit** : if its a person ill kill them

**tera-suck ass** : fuck you too

**tera-suck ass** : i literally hate you so damn much

**miss me with that hetero shit** : nice to know the feelings mutual

**Masayowoshi Kimuwura** : what if its nagisa stopping him

**miss me with that hetero shit** : THEN I GUESS HIS EYES WILL BE LEFT UNBLEACHED

**miss me with that hetero shit** : are you challenging me mortal

**Kowoki Mimuwura** : no wait leave my husband alone bls

**im here im queer suck my clit** : you heard the babey

**hhhh** : how are yall husbands if yall basically have the same name???

**hhhh** : i mean

**hhhh** : MImura

**hhhh** : KImura

**hhhh** : ?????

**hhhh** : their initials are literally switched eye-

**feminism is not a phase MOM** : i literally have no idea what youre talking about

**Towoka Yada Yada** : theyre so similar because theyre MARRIED DINGUS

**hhhh** : fair

**hhhh** : also

 

_**hhhh** has changed their name to **Takuwuya Muwumatsuwu**_

 

_**feed me wrenches daddy** has changed their name to **Taisewei Yowoshida**_

 

**Taisewei Yowoshida** : I HEAD WE WERE CHANGING NAMES AND I CAME AS FAST AS I COULD

**Sowosuwukewe Suwugaya** : you literally came back to life to change your name

**Taisewei Yowoshida** : i hated my old one and this feels like the only acceptable way hinano will let me change my name

**im here im queer suck my clit** : yowouwur still owon thin fuwucking icewe buwuddy

**a gorgeous satan** : i think im dyslexic

**a gorgeous satan** : wait a minute

**a gorgeous satan** : I DONT HAVE ANY O U OR E'S IN MY NAME

**Takuwuya Muwumatsuwu** : HSAFSFJHAJFSFHSAKJ

**tera-suck ass** : thats a good fucking thing??????

**a gorgeous satan** : I C A N T L E G A L L Y C H A N G E M Y N A M E

**tera-suck ass** : and?????? now you can stay away from being a fucking dumbass????

**im here im queer suck my clit** : YOUR NAME IS PERFECT ALREADY JUST LIKE YOU ARE

**a gorgeous satan** : LEAVE ME AND MY LOW SELF ESTEEM THE WAY THEY ARE

**im here im queer suck my clit** : N O.

 

_**420/69** has changed their name to **Yuwukikowo Kanzaki**_

 

**Yuwukikowo Kanzaki** : am i doing this right?

**Towomowohitowo Suwuginowo** : youre so pure!! and yeah!!

**Yuwukikowo Kanzaki** : thank you!!

**Yuwukikowo Kanzaki** : <3

**Towomowohitowo Suwuginowo** : I UNDERSTAND HINANO WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS DYING

**Towomowohitowo Suwuginowo** : AAA MY HEARTTT

**im here im queer suck my clit** : AND YET NO ONE CARED???????

**a lesb** : imagine having feelings like a loser

 

_**feminism isnt a phase MOM** has changed their name to **Meweguwu Kataowoka**_

 

_**science n shit** i guess has changed their name to **Manami Owokuwuda**_

 

_**a lesb** has changed their name to **Riowo Nakamuwura**_

 

**im here im queer suck my clit** : can i just say

**im here im queer suck my clit** : I HATE THIS

**im here im queer suck my clit** : i gave yall beautiful names,,,,,,

**im here im queer suck my clit** : and THIS is how im repayed

**Riowo Nakamuwura** : just change our names again coward

**im here im queer suck my clit** : i think you missed the part where im a LAZY BITCH

**i so gay** : im off of work!!!

**i so gay** : so you can imagine my reaction to seeing over 100 notifications from this chat :)))

**Riowo Nakamuwura** : guys i think i pissed a little

**fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : im. scared.

**Hinata Owokanowo** : papa please spare us,,,,

**miss me with that hetero shit** : hinata started the uwu thing

**Hinata Owokanowo** : wait

**Hinata Owokanowo** : DID YOU JUST

**miss me with that hetero shit** : maybe

**miss me with that hetero shit** : i

**miss me with that hetero shit** : did

**Hinata Owokanowo** : should i just. accept death now.

**i so gay** : ??????

**i so gay** : wait why is everyone scared?????

**i so gay** : all i said was i was happy to see everyone communicating??????

**im here im queer suck my clit** : wait

**im here im queer suck my clit** : you didnt mean

**im here im queer suck my clit** : the :)))

**im here im queer suck my clit** : threateningly??????

**i so gay** : ???? its a smiley face??????

**i so gay** : did i confuse it????

**Hinata Owokanowo** : i forgot that yuma was pure i

**Meweguwu Kataowoka** : im so disappointed in just everyone in general

**i so gay** : i feel like im missing something here

**i so gay** : but if you cant beat em join em

 

_**i so gay** has changed their name to **Yuwuma Isowogai**_

 

_**america explain how someone can have two genders** has changed their name to **Nagisa Shiowota**_

 

**Nagisa Shiowota** : should someone change the teachers names too or?

**im here im queer suck my clit** : korosensei sure but im the only one allowed to change karasuma senseis name

**Sowosuwukewe Suwugaya** : ok not even gonna lie your crush on him is so weird????

**Manami Owokuwuda** : hinano is dating toka right??

**Riowo Nakamuwura** : and is a lesbian????? hunny???? 

**im here im queer suck my clit** : hey HEY

**im here im queer suck my clit** : im lesbian with a guy crush ALRIGHT

**tera-suck ass** : yall talk as if she actually got a chance with him

**tera-suck ass** : who cares if shes lesbian shes also ILLEGAL

**im here im queer suck my clit** : I JUST HAVE TO WAIT A FEW MORE YEARS WATCH

**Kaewedewe Kayanowo** : what about toka???

**Towoka Yada Yada** : oh

**Towoka Yada Yada** : i dont mind bc i know theyll never end up together :3

**im here im queer suck my clit** : i dont even have faith from my own girlfriend????

**Riowo Nakamuwura** : ouch

**Taiga Owokajima** : guys just have a LITTLE faith in her!!

**tera-suck ass** : fuck??? you????

**Takuwuya Muwuramatsuwu** : you only say that because you have a crush on the new english teacher

**miss me with that hetero shit** : ah yes miss bitch

**Riowo Nakamuwura** : ok fr tho who doesnt have a crush on her

**tera-suck ass** : ILL E G A L DOESNT HAVE CRUSHES

**miss me with that hetero shit** : i dont have crushes on bitches

**Riowo Nakamuwura** : you have a fetish for blue haired boys thats why

**miss me with that hetero shit** : i have no idea what nor who youre talking about

**Nagisa Shiowota** : wait!! karma has a crush???

**Nagisa Shiowota** : i dont know any blue haired boys tho?? someone from a different school???

**fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : i did not just read that with my own eyes

 

_**im here im queer suck my clit** has changed **tentacle porn** to **Koworowosewensewei**_

 

**Koworowosewensewei** : Thank you for the name change!

**im here im queer suck my clit** : ,,,,,,,,,,,

**im here im queer suck my clit** : were

**im here im queer suck my clit** : you here this entire time?

**Koworowosewensewei** : I have to monitor this chat; for example, assault against other students are against the rules! I will have to be here to ensure it never happens! Which I do have to warn you students about, while I'm on the subject! 

**miss me with that hetero shit** : bet you had fun huh

**im here im queer suck my clit** : can we swap the assassination on korosensei,,,, to me,,,,,

**fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : i swear someone stole my phone and typed all i said

**fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops** : all they*** said uh-

**tera-suck ass** : this is a turn of events

**Hirowotowo Maewehara** : i feel,,,,, sorry

**Taiga Owokajima** : WHATEVER HAPPENS IN THE CHAT STAYS IN THE CHAT

**Koworowosewensewei** : i want to burn my eyes :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> miss me with that hetero shit: WHATS STOPPING YO-  
> no  
> everyone in this fic be like: heart eye emoji noises
> 
> Yuma Isogai ~ Yuwuma Isowogai  
> Ryoma Terasaka ~ tera-suck ass  
> Hinata Okano ~ Hinata Owokanowo  
> Rio Nakamura ~ Riowo Nakamuwura  
> Nagisa Shiota ~ Nagisa Shiowota  
> Toka Yada ~ Towoka Yada Yada  
> Kaede Kayano ~ Kaewedewe Kayanowo  
> Yuzuki Fuwa ~ Yuwuzuwuki Fuwuwa  
> Sumire Hara ~ Suwumirewe Hara  
> Hiroto Maehara ~ Hirowotowo Maewehara  
> Sosuke Sugaya ~ Sowosuwukewe Suwugaya  
> Megu Kataoka ~ Meweguwu Kataowoka  
> Masayoshi Kimura ~ Masayowoshi Kimuwura  
> Tomohito Sugino ~ Towomowohitowo Suwuginowo  
> Manami Okuda ~ Manami Owokuwuda  
> Taiga Okajima ~ Taiga Owokajima  
> Yukiko Kanzaki ~ Yuwukikowo Kanzaki  
> Rinka Hayami ~ fucked your bitch with some gucci flipflops  
> Kotaro Takebayashi ~ "lose one D"  
> Kirara Hazama ~ a gorgeous satan  
> Takuya Muramatsu ~ Takuwuya Muwumatsu  
> Koki Mimura ~ Kowoki Mimuwura  
> Taisei Yoshida ~ Taisewei Yowoshida  
> Ryunosuke Chiba ~ Ryuwunowosuwukewe Chiba  
> Hinano Kurahashi ~ im here im queer suck my clit  
> Korosensei ~ Koworowosewensewei  
> Tadaomi Karasuma ~ yum  
> Karma Akabane ~ miss me with that hetero shit
> 
> also i dont know if kimura and mimura are just platonic in this fic or if theyre actually dating but,,,,, hubbies  
> also also teacher crushes are ONESIDED


End file.
